Getting ready for my first half marathon

T-minus 2 days until race day.

I am sort of freaking out and sort of not. Part of me thinks "Oh, I have another long run this weekend." Then the other part of me thinks "I have to run in the beaming sun for 3 hours and try to stay hydrated and not get sunburnt all at the same time." And then I freak out.

But, look! There's hope!

Race day is Sunday. Would y'all pray with me that the thunderstorms make their appearance early in the day and we get to run in the rain?! Oh that would be THE BEST!

Then the sun can come out at the end of the race and we can have a lovely weekend on the beach. Look, it's totally possible. If you are a Virginian you know how "Scattered T-Storms" really means that it probably won't storm at all, but if it does it'll last 20 minutes and never come back again.

So, my goal is to get through the race hydrated, not sunburnt, and somewhat enjoy myself while I'm at it. I've enjoyed myself on my training runs so this should (hopefully) be even more fun! There are bands and cheerleaders along the whole course and so many of my friends will be there, too!

I totally plan on taking my phone with me on the run and snapping a few Instagram shots. (I gave up looking like a pro runner when I typed in my estimated finish time at registration.) I will also be writing about my experience when I get home. (Of course!)

Thanks for all of your words of encouragement… I am excited, nervous, scared, having bits of apathy, and most of all looking forward to the feeling of accomplishment when it is all over. :)

See you on the other side!

letters to sunday | months six, seven and eight

Sweet Sunday,

Mama got a little carried away on the procrastinating, didn't she? I pray you will have your father's sense of timeliness. And if you don't, that I (and your future husband) will have the same forgiving heart towards you that he has towards me. :) I can't believe I'm here... writing this. You aren't really nine months old already, are you?

I look back at the last letter I wrote and I was talking to you about how you "get it." That you get life. That truly seems like forever ago, because now not only do you get it... but you are living it. No more of this infant "discovering how to live" thing. Oh no. You're here now, personality and desires and everything. You are expressing yourself, sharing opinions, you have likes and dislikes... you are all over it. And when I say "all over" I mean exactly that. You are moving and shakin, honey! You're not officially crawling yet, but you are getting around just as easily! You can pull yourself to standing (which you quite often prefer over learning to crawl). In fact, my favorite midnight moments are when I come in to find you standing up, leaning out of the bed yelling at me. How did you know that if you lean closer to the door I might hear you better? You are a genius.

There's not a speck of newborn left in you anymore... dare I say that I see a few toddlerisms developing already. Slow down! I want you to stay my baby forever!

You have reached the stage of attachment. You know who your mama is and you prefer me over everyone else. But in the evening you light up both of our hearts as you reach out for daddy when he walks in from work. Even though he travels and works a lot, you still know who he is and you love him so very much. Such a big girl!

So far, this is my favorite age. You are just the perfect little size... so easy to hold, to cuddle, to prop up on my hip. You smile and giggle but you are still pretty content with where I set you down and the toys I offer you. Breastfeeding is a breeze since you fit so snuggly in my lap now and we no longer need any help from pillows to prop you up.

You grew out of the sleep-anywhere-and-through-anything phase. If you fall asleep in the car and I try to move you, you will wake up. So, we stay home around your nap times more often now than we used to. However, you really do get bored at home. A mama's girl, for sure! So we make little trips through the week just to keep us both busy and entertained.

You love all types of animals and whenever a dog is approaching you shake your hands and feet and squeal with joy! You let Hawkeye lick you all the time (even though he is not supposed to!) and you really like sharing your food with the puppies. You LOVE being outside. In fact, there is nothing more soothing for you than being in mama's arms outside. An outdoorsy chica?? Yesss! The adventures that lie ahead of us are endless.

Oh, and girl... music? Music heals the soul, we all know that. But music soothes your anxious heart anytime of day or night. You love to sit on daddy's lap and play the piano and drums. It is his secret weapon to soothe you while I am away. I was a little nervous with daddy taking you downstairs to play the drums - they even hurt my ears - but you love it! You smile and squeal and kick your little feet!

And honey - you love food. You are a Cook baby, through and through. You will eat just about anything we put in front of you. And of course you love carbs (when you get older you can thank your daddy for all the secret carb snacks he gives you while I am not looking). Yesterday we experienced a first: you found a food you didn't like. You showed your (very wise and) very strong distaste of yogurt. Haha. Sorry honey, that is just a curse that comes from me. So much for a creamy, healthy snack (I've always wished I liked yogurt because it seems like a simple way to eat well!). That's okay, I was hesitant to give you much dairy anyway. No worries!

You play SO WELL all by yourself. Your favorite toys are the non-toys: pots, pans, kitchen utensils. You have a slight obsession with Grandmommy's chapstick and we always grab a tube of Aquaphor in the grocery store for you to play with as we shop. You are entertained by the simplest things. Here mama thought she was smart buying all these 5-toys-in-one contraptions and you just needed a wooden spoon and a floor to bang on. So funny.

It's really fun to see you growing up and enjoying life along the way. I can't explain to you the light you have brought into our lives. You have made our world a better place and we would never go back to the days before you were born (no matter how many sleepless nights mama has to go through in a row!).

xoxox sweetheart,

Mama

"Where you at?"

Do any of you remember those hilarious cell phone commercials with the eldery people speaking in grammar of modern day teenagers? I loved those commercials and there are still days when I remember them and smile.

I especially loved the line "Where you at?" which came to me this morning as I was brainstorming a title for this post. :) (Wait for it at the end!)

So... this is where I'm at:

I'm having a rough week. And it's only Tuesday.

My daughter who used to sleep through the night has slowly regressed to the point of waking up for the first time before I am even asleep myself. (No more 6+hr first chunk of sleep!) It's been going on for weeks (months?) getting worse over time. I am trying everything I can think of, but I still wake up numerous times a night beyond frustrated. And evenings make for a sore environment in our home with a grumpy and exhausted mama and a dad who just needs to relax after a long day at work.

So this is my current view. While it's embarrassing to be that honest with you all, I know plenty of you have days like this one. I'm just keeping it real around here.

Today I am leaning into anything and everything encouraging. Prayer, encouraging words from friends, inspiring blog posts, worship music. It's one of those desperate days. I have the David Crowder Band Pandora station playing right now and I'm about to get up and tackle this mess in my house. If there's anything that is bound of refresh my spirit, it's a home under control.

I hope you all are having a better Tuesday than I!

letters to sunday | you make me a better person

Dearest Sunday,

My girl... my heart overflows with adoration and love for you. You have brought such joy to our family. I am happier now than I have ever been... you make me a better person. In completely random order, here are the things your presence has changed in my everyday life:

1. I don't sit on my computer all day anymore. I actually get up and clean the house and *gasp* I have even mowed the lawn a few times this summer!
2. I exercise more.
3. I drink more water. (Breastfeeding requires it!)
4. I cherish the little things. I know these moments with you are fleeting so I deliberately take the time to pause and appreciate the time we have together right now. I especially am loving the moments together while you are eating. Your curl your little knees up and snuggle into my lap. It's the sweetest time and I hope we continue to enjoy breastfeeding for a long time.
5. I think your dad is more attractive than ever. I can't help it. Watching him ask for you and interact with you makes my heart jump for joy - you have helped our love for each other grow even deeper.
6. I am slowly learning better time management. Slowly. With your help, I take a few steps forward (and one step back) on a regular basis. I thought planning was a positive thing in the past... now it is a requirement! And that's a very good thing for us.
7. The phrase "this too shall pass" is a new mantra in my life. Whether "this" is good or bad, I am learning that what may feel like my whole entire world flipping upside down is really just a small hiccup in our days or weeks.
8. I don't have the energy to be dramatic about little things anymore. When people ask me "how are you?" My answer is a quick "Really good!" these days. In the past I'd pause and try to find something worth complaining about. I just don't have time anymore. I like it this way!
9. Since you now want to eat anything you see me eating, I am making better diet choices. For the both of us.
10. You motivate me every day. To make better choices, to pray more, and to appreciate life more.

Oh this list will grow and grow in the coming years. Life with you is a little piece of heaven on earth and I am so very grateful for it.

xoxox, Mama

Let's talk about running

Getting started with running can be extremely intimidating. I have been trying to "get started" for what feels like my entire life. Trying and trying and never having it click for me. Until recently.

MY HISTORY

I have never understood running as an enjoyable activity. Ever. I tried. I remember watching in both awe and confusion as my high school classmates would run in Cross Country meets… or when my husband heads out for a run with eagerness. Seriously? Who WANTS to run? Who WANTS to do that hard stuff?

Not me.

In 2007 I decide to train for a sprint triathlon. I am honestly not even sure where the idea came from, but I figured it was a good goal to set. I was understandably nervous about it (never really been an athlete before), but I thought "I can swim, which gives me a leg up on at least some of the triathletes…" Hah. Ha ha. Hah.

I trained for the triathlon and I got up to running 2 miles without stopping. But running was still miserable (the entire time). I did participate in my first sprint triathlon and I finished. 4th from last. But I finished. And at the finish line I knew exactly where I needed to improve: the run.

So I vowed that I would run the full distance of a 5k, a 10k, and a half marathon before I did my next triathlon. I had to learn to love running.

I tried exactly that. I wrote it on my New Years Resolutions lists. I signed up for races. I printed training plans. I read blogs and books about running. But I dreaded getting out there. It hurt. My body would ache while running… my chest would burn… it was straight up miserable.

Enter Crossfit

When I found Crossfit, I decided running was for the birds. Why put myself through something so miserable if I found something else that finally worked for me? Something I thought was actually fun and gave me great results.

But the need to "get it" was still in me. I was still determined to learn to love running. I wanted to be a part of the running clique! So I made a plan. I decided I'd stick with Crossfit for three months before trying to return to running. In the meantime, I knew Crossfit would help build my core strength which would help make running less miserable for me. (Check out this article about how crossfit can improve your running.)

THE PRESENT

In March I registered for the Virginia Beach Rock 'n Roll Half Marathon to give myself another running goal. Something that required I get out and run. This time, I built in accountability by committing to the race with a group of girls from my home town as well as encouraging some of my closest friends to run with me. And I booked a hotel. And then I went and won a training t-shirt just for registering. I couldn't back out after all that!

After a few months of Crossfit I started forcing myself out to the road. Each time I'd go a little farther before stopping to walk/rest. I went on a few runs with Tommy here and there and the first thing he taught me was how to breathe properly. Then he taught me how to find a resting running pace. And finally, he taught me to just keep running. Slowly but surely, running became the easy part of my Crossfit workouts. After I learned how to find a resting running pace, running became the resting part of my CF workouts. (Shhh don't tell my trainer!)

And two weeks ago it clicked. I went on a run by myself. My goal was to run two miles (of the 5 mile course) without stopping. When I reached the 2 mile mark, I decided to go for 3. Once I made it to 3, I realized that I had the physical ability to run the entire way and I was not feeling miserable. So decided to push it. And the feeling was incredible.

I did it. I CAN do it. And it doesn't have to be torture. Wow. It was truly an unreal experience for me. Years of trying, years of hating running and being miserable on the road... Everything changed in that run and I finally "got it."

And I am addicted.

Sure, I'm running slow. Sure, I only just started. But I am floored that I finally reached my goal to learn to love running.

THE FUTURE

Tommy has always said to me "You don't need a gym or workout videos or anything like that. Just go out and run." And now I get that. Whenever I am in need of something free, quick, and effective, I can just put on some tennis shoes and go out the front door. I'm really grateful to have running in my life now.

I love Crossfit and I will be a CFer for life… but running is something I am excited to now have in my back pocket.

After this half marathon coming up (two weeks away!) I have some big hairy audacious goals (BHAG) that I am a little too scared to mention here just yet. But… they involve running. And I will share when they are officially in the works.

When did running click for you? Did you have a "moment" like I did? I'd love to hear your story, please share in the comments!